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22 June 2023
By Vanessa Hemp, Clinical psychologist
Very few things drive home the importance of mental health as much as suicide. In our Covid world, many people, including teens and the youth in general, are affected by increased anxiety, depression, and the threat of suicide. Early intervention and treatment can substantially reduce the risk of suicide. Stigma around mental illness prevents people from seeking treatment, resulting in symptoms becoming increasingly unmanageable. When someone is feeling suicidal it is vital that they are approached in a concerned way, and without judgement. It is important that people know that they are not alone and that they are not ‘bad’ people just for having difficult feelings.
If you are concerned about a friend or loved one, here are a few warning signs to look out for:
“You’d be better off without me”, “Life is pointless”, “I can’t take it anymore”, “I’m so tired of living”, “You won’t have to deal with me much longer”, “I wish I was dead”, “I wish that I’d never been born” are some of the things you might hear them say. Giving away precious possessions could be another sign that the person is feeling suicidal. Loss of interest in things that they previously took pleasure in, withdrawal from loved ones and friends and changes in eating and sleeping patterns. If you hear someone say the above, or notice these types of behaviour mentioned, encourage them to seek help, as they could be feeling suicidal. Suicide is commonly linked with depression, but increased risk of suicide can be linked to other mental illnesses such as bipolar mood disorder, alcohol and substance abuse. Childhood abuse or neglect also heightens suicide risk.
Covid and the subsequent lockdowns have heightened the reality of people feeling isolated and lonely, including those who had not struggled with these feelings previously. Many people are faced with overwhelming feelings and situations that they do not feel able to manage. In some of these cases, it might feel that suicide is their only way out. In the depths of depression, it is difficult to imagine a life worth living. Keeping someone safe and providing appropriate treatment and support, can guide people through challenging times, preventing them attempting suicide.
Suicide is highly evocative. There are many misconceptions about attempts and why people may choose to end their lives. The idea that people attempt suicide to attract attention is incorrect and dismissive. It can be a cry for help, a form of communication that someone is overwhelmed or not coping with their lives. This cry for help needs to be listened and responded to. Any expression of suicidal intent must be taken seriously. It is untrue that if someone speaks of suicide that they will not attempt suicide. Some people who suffer from depression and deep despair will let those around them know in subtle or more obvious ways that they are considering killing themselves. It is undermining of their suffering, and a lost opportunity to act if you do not respond and show concern. Others, however, will not mention a word and quietly set in place a plan to kill themselves.
Deliberate self-harm should not be confused with being suicidal. It is an attempt to manage overwhelming feelings. Self-harm is a strong indicator that a person is struggling with emotional dysregulation and powerful feelings that they cannot control. Self-harm has become much more prevalent and widespread in our society. Social media platforms have unfortunately contributed to this increase. Children and adolescents are at particular risk of a contagion effect when exposed either in person or online, to suicidal or self-harming behaviour. Children and teens often communicate to their close friends when they are feeling desperate and considering suicide. In these circumstances children should be encouraged to talk to a trusted adult, if their friend refuses to talk to his/her parents or guardians. It is too great a responsibility for a young person to try to keep their friend safe.
If you are worried that someone may be feeling suicidal, listen and connect to them. Let them know that you are there for them. Seek professional help from a doctor or psychologist. A combination of medication for depression and therapy are commonly used to treat a suicidal person. In high-risk cases, hospitalisation may be necessary. If there is a sense of immediate danger, take them to the closest casualty. Many community health care clinics have psychologists available to provide therapy. The South African Depression and Anxiety Support Group (SADAG) and Lifeline provide invaluable telephone counselling. The telephone number for the SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline is 0800 567 567. The telephone number for the Lifeline Counselling Line is 0861 322 322.
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Bellavista S.H.A.R.E. is the Education Resource Centre of Bellavista School, an independent school in Johannesburg that is widely regarded as a centre of excellence in the field of remedial education. With the Bellavista S.H.A.R.E initiative, the school harnesses the collective capacity it holds within its own staff to improve the quality of educational delivery in Southern Africa by sharing its wealth of professional knowledge, experience, and collective expertise with the community of educators and health professionals working with children in the region.
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